For a healthy person I sure get my butt kicked when I’m sick.
I turn from a powerful 5’2 nothing woman into a pile of crawling mush. Suddenly everything becomes impossible to do and still images of children with whooping cough and measles from 18th century England sweep my brain.
In Anne of Green Gables, a favorite book which is now a movie, it has a part were a child is bowed over a giant bowl of steaming water with a towel over his head. The idea is to cause the steam to go into his lungs and clear his chest. A fire is burning on the hearth and the room is stuffy and filled with whimpering sounds. That’s what I think of whenever I get the slightest bit nauseous. A doctor then comes in and smothers the fire, throws open the windows and loudly declares “this child needs fresh air!”
Even though that’s what’s best in most cases of non-severe illness it’s the exact opposite of what you feel like doing. Why go run outside when you can groan in comfort within your own home? It’s also always best if there’s someone around to pity you and answer to every whim, but unfortunately I've already moved out of the house and have no younger siblings to inconvenience.
This does give me an opportune moment to write though, which I have been slacking on.
April 8th is similar to doomsday in my head since it’s when my massive paper on Ethiopian Pottery is due. Since a class I needed to graduate wasn't offered this semester I decided to be creative and make one up. It seemed like a good idea at the time, and I've learned a lot, but the pressure is intense. Every time I meet with the Professor she just smiles sweetly never knowing I am internally freaking out. Not having much of a yardstick to measure my work against others I've just written my best and prayed for salvation.
It is interesting to note however that I have the capability to write a 28 page paper. The thought of failing frightened me so much ahead of time that I started “early” and ended up accomplishing the task a day before it was due. This might not seem spectacular in your mind but understand that I'm a person prone to procrastination. I also haven’t had to pull any all-nighters or have had any writer’s block leading to breakdowns this semester making it a step above last year.
Overall this semester has gone by so fast. I've been incredible fortunate to have good things come my way and I cherish the moments. Graduating seems more and more like a possibility but I’m still not completely convinced. In order to do that it would require a culmination of 5 years of schooling, 2 years of China, and one tiny body that’s supposed to hold all that knowledge and use it for some greater purpose in society.
Comfort wise, I have everything I need and more which makes complaining hard but still possibly if I’m dead-set on it. Even having time to write is a luxury since I usually feel a tinge of guilt as soon as I start which seems to say " you should be spending your time more wisely on other papers since a blogpost isn't worth 20% of your term grade". But if the majority of people all relinquished what made them happy for secular advantage you’d have… pretty much what the world is today.
Regardless I’ll continue writing since youth breeds contempt. By beginning of May all my classes and exams will be over. Once again I will be packing up to move, and then start in earnest the next chapter of my life leaving school and all of it’s troubles and successes behind.